That Night
by everyonesalesbian
Summary: Allison is dead but more than alive in Lydia's memories.


Allison was dead.

She was dead and Lydia couldn't think about anything but the beautiful brunette.

She pictured her long muscular limbs, her breathtaking eyes, her glowing skin, her soft lips. She imagined the sound of her voice washing away her pain, trying to heal her. But she couldn't heal. She would never heal.

She wanted Allison back. She wanted her back so badly that she would die in her place if she could.

Allison made her stronger. She brought out the best in Lydia – she made her realize that she was important, that she was allowed to be smart and beautiful.

Lydia played one of their last moments together over and over again in her head...

_The two girls were in Allison's room. Even though they were less than a few feet apart to Lydia it seemed like there was an ocean between them – she could never be close enough when it came to Allison. On rare occasions they crossed the barrier but that was to comfort one another. Lydia wanted, needed, that gap to be closed at all times. _

_It was with determination and little hope that Lydia decided once and for all she was going to get everything off her chest. Her mouth moved without thinking and she starred into Allison's eyes with hope._

"_Al. I need to tell you something. Things are getting really bad and I don't know what it is but I have this awful feeling. I just I want to talk to you before maybe it becomes too late."_

_Allison crossed the invisible barrier with a worried look on her pale face. Her hand reached down to hold her best friends whilst stroking her thumb in circles on the strawberry blondes hand._

"_Lydia.. you can tell me anything. Is everything okay?" _

"_Do you remember when you explained how you felt about Scott?" Allison nodded not quite understanding where the conversation was going._

"_Well, you asked me if had felt that way – about Jackson, about anyone... I said no. I said no because I never felt that way before about my boyfriends.. and I wasn't lying but I have felt that way. I've felt that way about you, for such a long time now." _

_A simple "oh" escaped Allison's mouth and within a second Lydia had removed her hand from Allison's. She paced across the room opening up that stupid space again. _

"_You don't need to worry I know it's stupid. I'm sorry I should have not said anything I just wanted to before maybe.. maybe I wouldn't get the chance. But its just biology – I mean attraction its just a bodily reaction you know? It's normal and I mean love is just chemicals in the brain and-" Lydia rambled trying to climb out of the hole she had dug for herself until the thin brunette interrupted her._

"_Love?" Allison's face was hard to read even for Lydia. The strawberry blonde gulped and nodded playing with her hands to try to focus on anything else but the beautiful woman standing across from her._

"_Yeah.. I mean.. I love you. I'm in love with you Allison. I want to be your friend of course I do but I also want so much more and I'm sick of hiding it from you, from everyone." Lydia didn't care if the entire world knew. She knew there was nothing to be ashamed of. A wide smile spread over Allison's face as she crossed the room once again. Lydia looked down not wanting to meet her eyes until Allison's hand touched her cheek forcing her to look at her. _

"_Lydia. I'm in love with you too." She felt the same. She wanted her too. She loved her. Lydia smiled before destroying the gap between them and crushing her lips against Allison's which tasted like strawberry. The kiss was forceful and passionate and both the girls bodies were exploding with desire. Greedy hands ran over their frames searching for more. Allison tugged at Lydia's dress trying to find only skin. The dress fell to the floor and Allison's eyes focused on the beautiful body of her best friend, of her secret love._

_She stroked the strawberry blondes breasts which made Lydia's breathe hitch. Their lips met again but Allison was pushing Lydia towards her bed now. Her legs gave way and the girls feel onto the bed in mess of limbs, their lips still attached. Allison sat up taking off her top before leaving delicate kisses along Lydia's body. The girls were hungry for one another – wanting more and more. _

_Allison removed her jeans with a sly smile and Lydia could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. Once again their lips were on one another's tearing down any barriers they ever had. Their breasts brushed against one another and their hands moved faster than their mouths. Neither of them had ever experienced sleeping with a woman but that was about to change. Their fingers entered one another at the same time causing both girls breathing to change. _

_They teased and stroked each other over and over again. Their fingers playing with one another's delicate centres. Their thumbs rubbed over each others clits and neither one could control the noises coming from themselves. Toes curled and muscles tightened and the girls came together in one glorious moment. Their bodies finally had no barriers. _

_Allison fell beside Lydia before bringing the strawberry blondes body into her strong arms. They stayed like that for a while both taking in what was happening. The first to speak was Lydia._

"_Allison, I in no way regret that but what about Isaac?" Allison pulled Lydia's small frame closer._

"_What Isaac and I have.. it's different. I don't love him like I love you. I want you. I want you and I'm going to tell him that. He will understand."_

_Lydia thought about those words for a while. Isaac really would understand. He would want both of them to be happy even if that means he loses Allison. Plus he was kind of seeming a bit interested in a particular werewolf as of late. _

"_Maybe we should wait.." Lydia's words tore through Allison. She wanted to wait? Wait for what?_

"_No. I don't mean wait because I don't want people to know." Allison immediately relaxed. "I mean we should wait to tell Isaac. We need to get through this mess first.. have the hard conversations later."_

"_You know you are the smartest person I've ever met right?" Allison let out a small giggle leading Lydia to do the same. _

"_Yes. Yes I do." _

_Lydia pulled a blanket over her and her love. They began to drift off to sleep. When Lydia's eyes began to shut she heard a few words from the girl next to her._

"_I love you"_

"_I love you too, Al."_

_That night they feel asleep in each other's arms with everything out in the open. They feel asleep in each other's arms with hope in their hearts._

Lydia hadn't told anyone about that night. Once she wanted to shout her love from the rooftops but now it seemed too personal. She didn't want to share it with anyone, she wanted it all to herself. More than anything Lydia didn't want to upset Isaac. She didn't want to take away what he had with Allison. She wanted to keep it a secret so it could never hurt anyone but her. But Chris knew. He walked in on the girls in morning. He said it was about time laughed and left them to share the morning light together. Afterwards they asked for him to keep it to himself for a while. He did.

Lydia constantly felt an ache in her chest that got bigger and bigger as the days past. She had been broken. The only person who could mend her was gone. The woman she loved wasn't there to hold her when the grief hit her at four in the morning, she wasn't their to hold her hand or to comfort her. Lydia didn't need to be a werewolf to know that she smelled like pain, grief and depression.

She was laying her bed after spending another night of bad dreams and crying when there was a knock at her door. Thinking it was her mother she called for them to come in.

Chris Argent stood in her door way. The both looked like they had been going through hell but were too kind to mention how awful they looked.

"Hi Lydia. I wanted to stop by to tell you me and Isaac are going to France."

"Oh?" Lydia remained in her bed her face coloured with confusion.

"I think it will be best for us. I can't be here anymore. He needs someone to take care of him. Allison would have wanted that." Lydia nodded in agreement knowing he was right.

"I understand." Chris didn't come for Lydia's approval but some how it made him feel better about his decision.

"I wanted to say I won't say anything about you and Allison." Lydia nodded. "But I wanted to say something before I left. Allison loved you. I mean really loved you. She told me her plan to tell Isaac when all this died down and I believe she would have. She told me that she had never felt love like that for anyone." Chris began to cry a little as did Lydia. She was grateful for this man. She was grateful that he had produced such an amazing woman and also grateful that her took the time to reassure her what she had felt over a week ago was in fact real.

"Thank you. I really needed to hear that." Chris wiped a tear away before nodding.

"I also need to give you this. It's a letter from Allison."

Chris crossed the room passing the letter to Lydia. Her beautiful handwriting was a masterpiece.

"I have to go but be safe. If you need anything please contact me. I will always be here if you need me." The words filled Lydia up and made her feel like maybe someone else understood exactly how she felt.

"Thank you again Chris. I really appreciate this. Have a nice time in France."

"Goodbye Lydia."

"Goodbye."

Chris left and with that Lydia was left alone with a letter that she knew she would keep for the rest of her life. She slowly opened it not wanting to tear anything.

Her delicate hands opened the letter and her breathing stopped. The letter read...

_My dearest Lydia, _

_I am and always will be in love with you. I feel like maybe you were right about something awful happening. I wanted to write this just in case. If you are reading this then I guess that means I'm gone. I gave this to my dad for safe keeping._

_I know things aren't exactly how we want them to be right now but know that I want you more than anyone. I think of you constantly – I even dream about that night. I want you to know that you're going to be okay. I might be gone but I will always be with you. I'll wait for you – hopefully for you that will be a long time from now. Keep pushing through this. You are the strongest person I know._

_Please remember I love you. I love you because you're the most incredible person I know._

_I love you with all of my heart._

_Goodbye, my love. _

_Allison._

For the first time in days a smile spread over the strawberry blondes face. It wasn't a fake smile she had been using around other people, it was a real smile. She clutched the letter to her chest letting it sink through her skin and emptied it into her heart.


End file.
